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Things that Hallmark Cards don't say...? - funny things for wedding cards

Can you suggest something funny or smart cards for Hallmark?
Here are some examples:

Hallmark Cards, what you say

My tires knocked.
I thought it was flat
When I looked at the tire ...
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ...

He heard his wife left
How to be a nuisance.
But do not worry ...
He went to live with me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ...

Congratulations on your marriage!
A pity that no one likes your husband.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ...

I must admit that religion has brought into my life.
I have never believed in Hell until I met you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ...
Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!
(Only in Tennessee, Kentucky and West Virginia)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ...
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Have you ever found, was the father?

Be creative!